My Feet r Cold. Not metaphorically but sometimes it is. But not rn.

I have a lot of essays to write and revise within a short amount of time. I was slowly working on one that's super late like a week or two ago. I was doing well with motivation for it but lately it seems harder. This week my motivation has been at a big deplete. Luckily my overall mood and emotions haven't been gruelingly low. Still, the lack of me wanting to do things feels like its sanding me down a bit. 

I was staring blankly at my words on the page for minutes upon minutes. Every time i begin to do something i NEED DONE my eyes get real heavy and drained. I took a 10 min nap on my new rug. (its very soft) I plummeted my body up once the timer went off, got a lil coffee even tho its 6pm and decided to warm up my writing here. 

I never understood why i lack motivation for things i like. I like to write, i love to sew, i love to paint, and yet at times i feel unenergized to do so. And why am i needing coffee at 6pm when i only woke up at 12pm tday. And took a 10 min powernap. 

Moments like these make me utterly hopeless and frustrated. I see a lazy person with no inner strength or structure. That's someone I'd hate to be, but it is me at times. I despise being that person. I guess i just have to do some pushups for my mind and just GO. Don't think about what you need done; the more you think the more you give yourself reasons to not do it. Sometimes in order for change to be made, you gotta just go. 

I'll keep this in mind.