How my day went yesterday! (After school only)

I come back from school, I’m tired and my ankle hurts. It hurts more every single day, I don’t want to tell anyone since I don’t wanna lose opportunities to do certain things. Sleeping won’t help the kind of tiredness I feel when I’m not in school, when I’m not laughing with my friends. My mom comes up to me saying I got a place in the gymnastics club I wanted to go to. I was excited. I had to have my hair up, pretty normal for that, I’m not shocked. I had to wear tight pants so like leggings but I hate leggings, I hate the way they feel on my body, I hate the way they look on my body. I wore shorts instead they make me feel better but then I hate how my leg hair looks since it’s visible, I guess there’s no way of winning. I show up in a jumper, I’m nervous being in a place I’ve never been in before obviously. Most of the girls in my class were younger than me I did realise but the teacher didn’t say anything about crop tops and I wore one. I wear one every single time I go to dance so I thought why would it be so bad if I went to gymnastics with it. There wasn’t anyone else there wearing one, well it’s pretty reasonable why if your not allowed but I’ve felt so slutty in that moment, I don’t like that.

I felt really faint or whatever, I didn’t have energy and I missed my friends, I missed them so much. I knew that afterwards I was going straight to dance classes and that I’m quitting in January. I’m sad about that, I felt progress with social interaction there. One girl even called me her best friend, maybe it was for me to let her skip the line but tbh it felt so nice being called that in an place that brings you trama (forgot to mention but we had our dance classes where my old gymnastics club was before it moved 20 minutes away so now there’s like a gym and the owners let the dance thing use it. 

The woman came up to me and straight up asked if I had anything to cover myself up with so I said no and just assumed it was because I was shivering real bad, I don’t know if thinking about this right now at 00:01 is a bit excessive (it’s not late I just find it weird I’m thinking about this at this time).

During stretching a different woman said no jewlery, this is also pretty common I just wasn’t too happy because I had to take off my favourite ring. I never take it off unless I am doing any water based activities, it’s basically the only jewellery I wear. It’s really special to me, it also helps me fidget with it when I’m in public by myself or just use it inside of biting my nails. A really special person gave it to me. I ran up to like the shelves where u put ur shoes and I quickly put my ring in it having no clue how I could survive without it. We did these routines things and it was so confusing, since I’ve went to dance classes for about a year already mix a lot of things up, like a cartwheel and a ilision (that’s exactly what I did and if you don’t know what an illusion is, it’s when you do like a type of needle stand but while spinning.) I wanted to disappear so badly why did I decide to do this, I literally just learned how to interact with people in the dance club and I decide to join another one. What is wrong with me. 

Straight after gymnastics I went to dance and on Thursdays they have these classes split up weirdly but I’ve kinda learned to adjust to it. I love that people that care enough to come up to me and ask if I know what we are doing and explain it to me whenever I’m late, it makes me feel loved. I am loved, by many people. I liked that, it was really fun at dance. I talked with the same girl who called me her best friend and she asked how long I was going to dance for and I said nearly a year an she replied with “ahh” I would probably do the same. I wonder if that’s like a ahh like that I was going for such a long time and suck or a ahh that it’s such a short time and I am good. This dance class was in the giant hall that I love. It’s easy to breathe in there and I love how much space there is.

I dislike freestyle disco, it’s really pretty but way too hard for me. I can barely run, also I love how slow/ lyrical dance is so expressive. I don’t remember any big achievements yesterday so I’m just going to skip to the going home part.

I went home.

I went home and I hated it, I hate being by myself and I hate being in a crowd of people. 

I listened to music, cried and thought about how I’m getting Tomodachi life. I’m quite tired so I’ll probably go to sleep 😴 goodnight and sleep well, I am so freaking proud of you.