depressive episode (with Plot twist)

How do you call a period of your life where you barely go outside , don't clean , have 0 human contact and you're miserable as hell when you don't have any diagnosis? 

I used this term because I don't know any others that could describe the severity of the episodes I live regularly since 2017 circa. 

Every damn time I decide to put myself back together (start going out , sleeping early , eating healthy) , it happens again after a while . sometimes I think about ending it all not gonna lie . 

I left my job after getting pneumonia and crashing out at the manager and I've been drowning in unfinished assigments from university , therapy is too fucking expensive 

Ive been feeling dead for a month and today I decided to hangout with a friend , Iwas miserable until he asked how often I wipe my ass after taking a doodoo and now I feel so much better like legit, wow. One weird thing about all this is that it takes so little to make me spiral into isolation and sadness , but it also takes little to take me out of it and start feeling like a new person 

Thank you  for asking me how often I wipe