Fuck my fucking chungus life

I don’t see my self living past 18 or older age that I actually have to do life shit. like I feel like I can’t see myself having an actual job. I know life isn’t just having a job. BUT LIKE… I basically failed everything. my grades are ass, my friends are ass, my family‘s ass, and my whole life SUCKS . And I feel like the only reason I’m living right now, is cause my friends. And I barely have two . But rn I feel I don’t even want to live for them. And when I talk to people about it, they just call me selfish. Is it that selfish for not wanting to live? For having no will to live? I don’t think it’s selfish. Maybe it is… I wouldn’t know.

Could I finally die and do nothing with out being called selfish, bratty or self-centered?