Being the last

Being the last is nice. Things aren't as heavy and things aren't as restricted. But when you genuinely feel upset or like you've been wronged, it's hard to acknowledge that and try to fight it. Because in the end, you're not right. You don't have a right to feel that way. You're being selfish, defensive, argumentative, ignorant. Okay. I don't bear the weight that you do. But at the same time, why do you dodge taking full accountability. Why do you dodge confrontation. Shut me down with "shut up" or "shut your mouth" and other petty little things. I'm the child, not you. But still you banter with me as if you are. You weren't trying to attack me by saying that, and neither was I. But guess what? You still sat up. With disbelief and annoyance. You still got defensive. That annoyed tone in your voice. You win because you intimidate. But nevermore. You told me to shut up but I didn't. I sill spoke. You will not shut me down just because you're loud. You won't shut me down just because you say mean things. You won't shut me down just because your my older sister. I love you but this is just not it.