scared of trying (i need to lock in fr TT)

forgot about spacehey omg. i don't have much to say, but only that i've been feeling kinda frustrated with myself. i don't know what kind of motivation i need to do the things that i want. i want to do so much: draw, setting up healthy habits, go to the gym, search a new job that pays me more, try new things, study something that i like, etc... but i always dont do anything. im so comfortable in my own bubble that i dont want to step outside. im scared of everything, scared that i will mess up, scared of new things.

but thats the thing, right?

life is always changing, us too. i know that is better trying new things and fail than not even trying...but why am i so afraid? why am i scared of trying to be better? i dont know if its laziness or what but ugh...its really making me so mad....the worst part is that im so mad at myself about it i dont do anything?????? UGHHH I DONT UNDERSTAND!!!!

i have little discipline....

if someone had or has this kind of problem, what things did you do to lock in? or how did you achieved to become better? 

i have all the motivation possible to know that if i do the change i will become happier...but why am i stuck...? why i limit myself?

i feel hopeless, i've been like this since i was 15 yrs old... now im 24 and it hasnt change that about me huh...

if you are here thanks for reading, and sorry if its kinda confusing.

have a good day and take care <3

love u all