23:21 — more bpd terrors

UGH this is really stupid but i just cried a bunch over my fp tonight. my heart hurts because i feel like i’m nothing when we’re not talking, which is quite literally a majority of the time since we aren’t as close… and well, i don’t trust myself to talk about this stuff with him anymore, so i can’t really do anything about it except cry a bunch until i get over it hahah. i just wish somebody would come take his place so i’d feel less terrible, but that hasn’t been able to happen in ages. so fuck me, i guess. i feel the same way i did when he first became my fp… hahaha. i wish my emotions didn’t become so severe again, i did well with repressing them for as long as i did. aagghh. i’m dying