why do i always feel unsafe in church :( (slight tw)

i HAVE to wear dark clothes that cover my entire body, even if its super hot, i HAVE to wear dark longsleeves, pants, and maybe even arm warmers. just to feel safe.

i feel like theres gonna be a r@pist ogling at me, even if i know its a safe place. its so eughhh 

and im also christian?? i trust god to keep me safe, but i cant even feel safe in his own place? the actual fuck?