Trying to stay positive in hard times.

 Trying my best to think positive in hard times,

I’ve always been a pretty positive person at least in the surface, but lately things are hard, ever since i was diagnosed w bipolar and bpd i feel like my life is falling apart.

I dont know if it makes sense it probably doesn’t but i feel like part of me was robbed of having a normal life, a healthy, ordinary life. Now at 19 i have severe ptsd and suffer from epilepsy thanks to trauma i endure as a child, my brain never developed.

Im just sick and tired of everything…

Im trying to look at the good parts of life but it seems i lost that touch of innocents that once driven me to live a carefree life.

I dont want pity or sympathy i just want to have a normal life.

I wish things were different, that i was different. I wish i was normal i really do but it seems hopeless like i am in this dark tunnel and I can’t seem to escape and see the light, feel it as i close my eyes. I just feel and see nothing but the emptiness of my thoughts.

Gonna try staying positive because i know things will get better eventually, i just know it. I know it. I can see it, if i convince myself maybe it may come true. If i say it a inch of times maybe it would appear again, that force, that willingness to life forward and not be stuck in the past that so haunts me dearly…