i have a crush on someone who has a girlfriend

I transferred to a new school this school year. A school that was very far from my home but i had no other choice, it's either going to a school where everyone wants you dead on sight or spend 30 minutes going to a new school where only a few people hates you. and i took the second option.

in our school there was a special program for arts, all kinds of arts, either its visual or performative art. I joined that program and took the visual arts curriculum, where stdents get to paint, draw, sculpt, etc. i didnt think much of my new classmates, in fact i was already thinking that they would all hate me eventually (spoilers, i was right). I got transferred to my new classroom a day after the first day of class.

you see, during the special program every student in that program are all gathered in one classroom, for special treatment. when i entered the classroom, i was nervous as shit because all these people were actually talented and was worth being in this program unlike my old schools program.

when it was time to take attendance, i heard someone named Axille, pretty cool name and i didnt think much of him at first but when i did look at him oh my god he was cute as fuck, he had slightly pale skin, a baby face and a surprisingly normal nose, and he was taller than me by just a few inches. he was super cute and this was the actual first time i had a crush on a boy since most of the time its always females i chase after but no, this made me slightly feel something in my stomach.

And of course, it shouldnt be about the looks, its the personality, right? well, before i jumped to conclusions that he made my heart slightly skip a beat, i continued to wait for a few weeks and observed, just to make sure.

 He was smart, unlike other boys in my country he cared for his grades and balanced his academics and his happiness, thats something most people cant do and i admired that about him. He was funny, like really funny, his humour was sarcasm with some sound effects and some gestures along with the corniest uncle jokes. he was talented, like really talented. his program was music arts, he coud play an electric guitar really well, every afternoon he jams to a fw songs with other classmates and i just stay there and watch him play with the electric guitar as if he was a lead guitarist of a band which im pretty sure he is, not only the electric guitar, but also drums. he has music talent in his bones and i admire that abut him because i've always wanted to be good at istruments so when i met this boy i felt things that i didnt like.

i never felt giddy over a boy, i always thought relationships with them would never last because of how disgusting and manipulative they are. but he was kind, he gives food to those who didnt have lunch and he helps people when they need help, from where i live, thats like finding a diamond.

i hate feeling this way, he makes me do stupid things and makes me think stupid thoughts, hell i even cried one night thinking how he'll never even look at me because im me, i dress like im from 2009, and i act sarcastic all the time, Im no ones type so why would i expect im his type?

these were the type of thoughts that consumed me everytime i was at doubt. I never made my feelings for him obvious, i acted like i didnt care and wait for these feelings to go away.

But then again, he never really mentioned he had a type. so i asked around discreetly is he had anyone in mind or does he have a type.

"yeah he has a girlfriend"

boom, bomb dropped on me. he had a girlfriend. A girlfriend that was smart, pretty, talented and one of the norms, something that i would never be. 

I respect the girls code, i dont chase a someone who already has a significant other. so when i found out that he did, i forced myself to push these feelings away. even though everytime i see him my heart stops beating and i hold my breath for some reason, i needed to stop crushing on him.

now, im currently homeschooled, and i cant lie, my feelings for him is starting to fade, but at the same time its not.