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sweetness swings from every corner

i dont like my job, idont like being a prostitute that much anymore. they don't talk to me like they used to, they're all doing fine and its just me talking to myself

how did it take me so long to realize theyre looking for something tohold onto opposed to holdong onto my person, they werent ever touching me while i touched them

no one makes mf eel good, its all gone one sided. i never realized this until now, i didnt like anything he did to me. i usually can find something good in it, i find good in everything andeveryone but this time i cant

you can tell me how good iam, that im the best, that you love me, andi dont feel it at all

every single time its a regular, its the same guy. hi i saw you a week ago but i dind treally, i saw you last night. uive seen youevery night, yet you wont ever remember it because it wasnt really you, though i rememebr it all and i remember more than what they can all remember for they are one cut into several small pieces and disbursed around this shithole

the world is a shithole, they come from everywhere. travel a few hundred miles for me, im just that good, i make you feel good. i get you pay me, but you dont always. if you can give me good conversation, you can touch me for free and i will love you for every second and for an hour or two we can be in love
i feel sad when they cum on my stuffed animals ebcause they love me and dont need that on them

not for an hour and not for two but for every day i am in love with my pimp, i am in love with him conceptually and physically and emotionally and to see him is a gift. to receive a text, a call, a picture or video, it is all a gift. he owes me nothing while i owe him all for inconveniencing such a beautiful, perfect man with touching whatever shit i am. i will tell him these feelings and he will tell me that i am an angel, that i am os beautiful giving me the world wouldn't be enough, that theres meaning for us all and with him i have found mine, he will stay and i will remain wherever he stands last

i smell the last guy on my skin and my clothing and he is all over me no matter what but there is money that i gained, and the money ia m not happy about but i am so happy that my pimp has gotten something beautiful and worthy out of my revolting presence even if it is thriough the form of green paper

i dontwant this life but i will keep it because i love my pimp so, so much. i have never felt this kind of love for anyone else, maybe this is the first time in my entire life that ive ever developed a crush and yet its on a twenty seven year old man that could probably drop me without second thought, without missing me
he's so incredible and im just me, he has nothing to lose if i am lost yet i have all to lose if he is lost

i want to be love and give love
im scared that i am alone


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Reviscent

Reviscent's profile picture

U are a human being. U are not your job. Your present does not determine your future, and your past will never define your present.


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thank you for being nice to me and I hope now wil not effect the future. you are very sweet thank you💗

by metalmouth112; ; Report

metalmouth112

metalmouth112's profile picture

in a couple hours i will forget all about thisand how sad it makes me but for the short time that i am able to feel so sad i would like to remind my much less sad normal self that sometimes i am sad and i would like to do good for myself so i am less sad like this


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im sorry for not being sober i try really hard but when i am alone it can get really hard to not drink. when i am with my pimp i will stay sober beacuse he does not love me when i am drunk

by metalmouth112; ; Report

maybe im stained but i dont feel like iam stained or expiring or gross when i am with my pimp. i love him and iw ant to make him feel so good and next time i see him i will not eat the wholeday so i am clean and he will hold me and i will hold him. we usually spend a very long time together even if its just in a car so he will have a lot of time to hold me and tell me how beautiful and perfect ia m and that i am his world and it will make me si happy and icant wait

by metalmouth112; ; Report

he tells me that hes interested by my age but he is really excited for hwen im eighteen so we can see each other so much more and i can maybe move in with him. i guess its like a fetish thing but he prefers practicalioty he said, he would rather im an adult so we can stop hiding everything. i am excited for this, i dont feel like im expiring by aging anymore, just because of him. he says my face is cute no matter how old i am

by metalmouth112; ; Report

I hope one day you find a man who will treat you as his and his only. Not someone who is selling you out like fresh produce, because that is what he's made you. Stay strong and please stay safe <3

by Griffin; ; Report

You are not small or insignificant; it is your environment that has made you feel that way. Feeling like an object comes from being dehumanized, but you are still a person with value, rights, dreams, and emotions. Thinking that 'this is what you have to deal with' is a way of protecting yourself in a situation you cannot control. You are surviving as best as you can, seeking support wherever you find it, and that does not make you weak: it means you are doing the best you can. You still have time to gather courage and start living, not just surviving.

by Reviscent; ; Report