I’ve only realised last night how common it is to have suicidal thoughts, well I knew that many people had some but hearing multiple people that I know have them is a bit like, well hmm it’s not confusing just I guess shocking and let’s say if someone never wanted to end their life then they’ve either had any sort of self hatred to themselves or either hut themselves (mentally or physically). Most confusing part is hearing so many perfect people saying they wanted to end themselves, it makes me wonder if I failed as a friend. Sometimes probably yes but I’m trying to be better and I know my friends are too good to end themselves because they have saved me from doing that. I also feel like such a huge pick me because I’ve been open to my friends for quite a long time about it. I’m not sure if Ive ever asked them about it, I don’t think I did that’s the worst part. I’ve had friends who were struggling online and friends who were struggling in real life, I am pretty sure I had more online since I’ve added a lot of friends on snap and a lot of people tend to be open about their struggles aswell. Which is okay!
I can’t relate to many people, I’ve had compared every persons life to mine and it really helps me realise that my life isn’t that bad. I would like to be skinny, prettier and funnier obviously but I have time to fix myself.
Every person that I know struggles with something, doesn’t matter if they are open about it and might come out as a “attention seeker” or be quiet about it and just cry silently. No matter how much someone weighs and no matter how someone looks, you can see the “most prettiest “ person going through the same struggles as someone who is the “most unattractive”. I find every one unique, “oh but some people dress copy paste like all the time!” They are still unique yk, different facial features and a different body.
If you’re struggling with something and wanting to do something that is not possible to turn back then trust me it’s not worth it, if you need help because someone is bullying you then reach out for help, if it’s family members being abusive then reach out for help. Many people would rather for you to ask for help then for you to be gone.
Now I’ll go try help my friends, they are truly the best people I know. If you have any ideas on how I could help since I only have one which is to ask them about it straight forward ( I admit it might not be the best plan) then tell me in the comments please!! :D
Your perfect and I love you so much <3
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Enderpearl
It's really endearing how much you care about your friends, how much gratitude can be found in what you wrote. I genuinely don't think I would've still been alive (like living, different from surviving while wishing to end it) if I hadn't met people like you who *want* to be there for others.
Yes suicidal thoughts are common, you must know what it feels like when you're brought to such a point that sleeping becomes the closest thing to death so you js sleep *all of the time*.
And I'm glad you also saw that ending your life was something you literally do not control once it happens. Once you're gone, you're gone forever. Remember to get to know yourself, take care of yourself, love the things within you/around you so that you can give some of that love to others if you want :)