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Age is important. You don't talk and interact with a 13 y/o like you would a 25y/o.
However! Saying you should keep your friendships in a 4 years above or below you window or wtv is so fucking weeeeird....
Like have you never had a friend that wasn't your age? Touch some grass I beg you-
I understand minors have to be careful around adults and people older than them in general because of possible power dynamics and abuse, i do.
But that doesn't mean the only adults in your life should be your parents, uncles and grandparents, damn.
I've been friends with adults when I was a kid. I am still friends with those adults. The friendship has changed, obviously, because as I said, you don't treat a kid like an adult. But we were friends back then and still are. And obviously, it wasn't treated the same as my kid friends. Your parents are there to make sure, and to teach you to make sure, that the person you're forming a friendship with is safe for you, and to take the steps necessary to stay safe depending on how much trust you can give them.
I have been friends with my now 50 y/o theatre teacher since I was 13-14. I am 21. Nothing bad ever happened to me. She taught me tons of stuff and I taught her tons of stuff as well.
Intergenerational friendships are important, they've always been important! You should be safe with them, ofc! Don't just go alone with an adult you've only met online! Don't go alone with anyone you've only met online!! It's internet safety!! Don't hide the friendship from your parents and learn to see red flags and block etc to protect yourself.
And adults... just don't be creeping on kids?? I mean, no one is going to accuse you of being a groomer for making small talk about video games with a teen. And if they do, that'll be disproven, because that's just not grooming?
Just, yk,. remember the age of the person you're talking to and act accordingly. Yk, like an adult?
As for 18-19 y/o kids thinking them talking to 17y/o kids is weird... Buddy you're both still kids. Idc that you're an adult legally (where I live). You're so close in age I mean come on... Of course be mindful but you're not going to be an abuser for continuing to talk anime with your 17y/o friend when you turn 18. You're fine, I promise.
Now, to finish this off, a side-rant: if anyone in their 20's call themselves old again, I'm going to bite you in my head /lh
Seriously though, yes you're going to feel old, because you're getting older. You are not an old person. You're 20 gods damnit! You've got decades before you can even consider yourself being old: we don't die at 30 anymore.
Comments
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shalomeslime
really glad to see more people agree! i understand being cautious, but there's a point where i think there's a misunderstanding about the nature of an adult and minor interacting online...
honestly, i'm fine being friends with people of a pretty wide range. way younger, way older, either way it keeps things fresh. they'll have different perspectives than i do, and i honestly enjoy hearing them.
El Chivo
I personally don't think it's bad to be friends in a certain level with people older or younger than you, but I at least prefer to avoid some because I just can't relate to them and they clearly can't relate to me either.
I personally can't really see me in a friendship with a 13-14 year old, they're naturally childish, so there's things I obviously can't talk with them and there's things about their own experience I'm not interested either.
Idk I feel better talking with someone that I know is at the same level as me and goes through similar things if not the same, it's easier to make a conversation and understand eachother.
That's very fair tbh! Preferences are totally valid! My gripe is really about how so many people seem to think intergenerational friendships are always creepy no matter what; I totally get that age can make a difference in whether people click and get along or not ^v^
by Kai The Foley; ; Report
✮Pips/serious✮
THANK YOU!! I get being cautious online, so I never really friended anyone 20+. But I love my band and art teacher sm! They are so cool and I love telling them stories, since my art teacher likes anime and stuff. But since they are both men, they both get called weird (mostly the art teacher). I hate how that happens :(
ray*༉♡
i used to be in a D&D group with someone who was twice the age of everyone else in the group; he was never weird to us, was usually very patient when one of us was, yk, acting childish, and was prolly my favorite person in the group
// grooming & suicide mentions
on the flipside of that, i had an adult friend who groomed a child in our shared friendgroup, and attempted to rely on me for emotional support when i was ~12-13, going as far as sending me a photo of him holding a knife to his neck and asking why he shouldnt cut it open
the biggest difference between these two interactions, outside of the obvious behavioral differences? the first person had other friends in their age range/above their age, the second hung out with mostly children and younger teens.
having friends who are younger, older, and in your age range are *all* important to being a well-rounded human being; anyone who immediately thinks that being around kids in a friendly manner is creep behavior doesnt understand how having younger people in your life is important. after all, how are we supposed to help the next generations if we wont talk to them?
(to avoid confusion, i am agreeing with your post; i just wanted to share my perspective since i dont hear many people mention how theres a difference between having SOME friends who are kids, and ONLY friends who are kids. balance is key with everything, in life.)
Definitely a great point!! Intergenerational relationships are important, but so are relationships with your peers!!
Thanks for your comment!!
by Kai The Foley; ; Report
Caitlin
soooo agree with this! i've noticed it happening more as tiktok became more influential. i personally think there are many benefits to inter-age friendships! as long as conversations remain appropriate, i don't see a problem
Bloggingabtmylifelolz
This is so true, I've been friends w multiple adults since I was like 11 and although some were weird, most were not, and we're still in contact after so many years.
having adult friends gives you a different insight about life and they can genuinely teach you stuff or give you advice that someone less mature wouldn't be able to.
Either way, I'm 17 now and the thought of being friends w a 15-14 year old makes me lowk uncomfortable for some reason :Pp
✩‧₊ 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐲⋆.ೃ࿔
This is great! As a minor I’ve always tried my best to stay safe on the web without adult guidance. I will say I have gotten into a few pickles but I shut that down quickly somehow (thank god.) and I know some people habe already said this, I think it doesn’t matter unless the way your talking to a child is in a predatory way.
Okay stay safe out there guys^^
Stay safe as well, thanks for commenting ^v^ <3
by Kai The Foley; ; Report
nekokun827
The only problem of adults being friends with kids is when they talk about inappropriate stuff. Talking about the story of a character and making a theory about them? Hell yeah. Telling them your fantasies about the character? Hell no please. Fuck you.
People sometimes overreact a bit too much. They say "What is an adult gonna talk about to a minor!" ... videogames? Anime? Are people not nerds anymore or what? Do people not have interests they want to yap about with someone who knows as much as you about it?
Fully agree!!
by Kai The Foley; ; Report
Zigzag Buster 🇺🇦
The real problem isn’t adults communicating with children. The real problem is adults communicating with children in ways that are of a predatory nature. Intergenerational relationships are important. Without intergenerational relationships, we have situations where older generations can end up being out-of-touch with what the younger generations experience in the world.
This!!! Very very true!!
by Kai The Foley; ; Report
The truth is that grooming and abuse is more likely to happen among family members than with complete strangers online. If parents genuinely want to protect their children from predators, it would be more productive to keep one’s eyes open for actual dangers rather than old stereotypes that have little foundation in reality.
by Zigzag Buster 🇺🇦; ; Report
JiggleDrive!!
I agree!! As a minor I tend to stay away from friending adults, both due to fear and nervousness. But one of my 14 yr old friends unadded me after freaking out about my age?? As long as the age gap is not that big (especially if it's minor and adult) and if the friendship is sfw it's not bad to be friends with them. I'd feel safer if it was online, too, if I ever friended an adult.
fish_i
heavy agree with this!! i generally avoid talking to minors just out of personal preference (maturity difference) but if i encounter someone way older than me? hell yeah unc let's chat x)
blvkmoon
Interacting with someone younger becomes creepy the moment it involves sexual stuff.Sure a 38 could smash a 27 but that's if they both agree.Tbh, as long as you communicate w them based on their age you good
Yes, exactly!!
by Kai The Foley; ; Report