Doug Maynard's Survey... And Decently Serious This Time

1. If you were to attend a costume party tonight, what or whom would you go as?

The child of Abraham Lincoln and Fred Durst.

2. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling?

Probably sprinkles. I prefer microwave grilling after it's been left out for 4 hours and 51 minutes. Haha, I don't eat meat actually. Not because I'm a vegan. I have worse reasons.

3. You are chosen to have lunch with the President. The condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask?

What is your hair care routine?

4. It’s your first day of vacation, what are you doing?

Strip club. (okay so probably a local store or a theatre)

5. What is your concession stand must-have at the movies?

Any hot drink. Hot chocolate, tea, black coffee, etc.

6. Which do you dislike most: pop-up ads or spam email?

Pop-ups. Tremors keep me from clicking those goddamn Xs so I'm attacking my mouse like a Karen attacking her middle-aged son for eating local instead of at Starbucks

7. What do you think Captain Hook’s name was before he had a hook for a hand?

Something dorky like Tylerson Gooddall.

8. Rock, paper, or scissors?

I'm going with Spock. Maybe lizard but I have to truly weigh my options first. /ref

9. How long was it from ‘the first date’ until the proposal of marriage? How long until the wedding?

Currently single. Never been married. I'm barely 18.

10. Which is worse, being in a place that is too loud, or too quiet?

Too quiet. If you all can hear me grinding my teeth to the exact beat of my song, it's too much.

11. What is one quality that you really appreciate in a person?

Someone who can yap for hours. I like listening.

12. At the good old general store, what particular kind of candy would you expect to be in the big jar at the counter?

Those thick, soft peppermints that me and my sister always stole from my grandpa when he was sleeping.

13. What is the most distinguishing landmark in your city?

The old lady who drives her scooter down the road with a shirt that says "I'm not crazy, I'm mentally unstable". Go old people!

14. Everyone hears discussions that they consider boring. What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other?

Star Wars. 

15. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test?

Uno. Maybe uno and a half, I couldn't tell what the lady was thinking.

16. If you had to have the same topping on your vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life, what topping would you choose?

Fresh strawberries.

17. What food item would need to be removed from the market altogether in order for you to live a healthier, longer life?

White Russians. I'm addicted like hell and you'll find me making them wherever I go. During your parents' divorce, every Star Wars movie, sex, you get my idea.

18. You are offered an envelope that you know contains $50. You are then told that you may either keep it or exchange it for another envelope that may contain $500 or may be empty. Do you keep the first envelope, or do you take your chances with the second?

Take your goddamned chances, my man. $500 is $500.

19. If you had to choose, which would you give up: cable TV, or DSL/cable internet?

The internet any day. I grew up on cable and would be okay with buying more DVDs again and living that life.

20. What is your highest level of education?

I'm currently a first year at mah university.

21. How much is a gallon of gas in your city? What was the highest it’s been?

It's a liter of petrol actually. I don't drive anymore so I don't pay enough attention. Somewhere around 2 euros.

22. What kind of lunch box did you have as a kid?

A galaxy one. The type that was always old as hell and had 2 holes in it where everything fell out of.

23. What would you rather have, a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, or a chauffeur?

A dog named Grandma.

24. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic?

Stuck in traffic. That way I can get out of my car and run if I feel like it, but in an elevator you're pretty much stuck no matter what.

25. Lets say a brick fell on your foot, and your kid is standing right next to you, what is your ‘cleaned up’ swear word?

"Christ on a cracker" / "Judas Priest" / "Ah shik-ees" / "Fork"