"i used to pray" song lyrics (by me)

hey guys!! thought I'd start sharing lyrics on here...

so yesterday i started writing a song about my rocky relationship with my mom and how that relates to her conversion to Christianity, and how all of that trauma and judgement has negatively affected my own faith and walk with God

I think I'm calling it "i used to pray"

here's the first draft:

verse 1:

hands around my vocal chords

i couldn't speak, so i learned to sing

the writing holds me when i cry

you can't listen to save your life

you say respect goes both ways

guess not mine

pre chorus:

you pray for me to live in the light

but you don't see, I'm living in mine

i pray for you to wake up kind

and finally realize

chorus:

you looked more like Jesus 

before you ever saw his face

you were a better Christian

before filling up your days

with reading and believing

post-it tabs to the ceiling

all about fruits of the spirit

that don't mean you're not abusive

cuz a million apologies 

don't change that 

you're still hurting me

you're hurting me

verse 2: 

dragging me by my fragile hair

i never could come up for air

i couldn't fight, so i learned to write

i fall in musics warm embrace

the only thing you've learned is hate

judgement, scripture, and spiritual warfare

and I'm supposed to think that's great

(yeah, that's really great!"

pre chorus:

pre chorus:

you pray for me to live in the light

but you don't see, I'm living in mine

i pray for you to wake up kind

and finally realize

chorus:

you looked more like Jesus 

before you ever saw his face

you were a better Christian

before filling up your days

with reading and believing

post-it tabs to the ceiling

all about fruits of the spirit

that don't mean you're not abusive

cuz a million apologies 

don't change that 

you're still hurting me

you're hurting me

bridge:

love thy neighbor doesn't mean

i don't need some comforting

from something that isn't pages

or blue light through a screen

hell, i get tired of writing

in Jesus, i believe 

but sometimes i still need

my mommy

verse 3:

my neck is shaped just like your hands

im not lost, just an artist, man

you wouldn't let me feel, so i learned to heal

i used to pray, now i just hope

you'll get better on your own

but i still can't breathe, don't know what that means

pre chorus:

pre chorus:

you pray for me to live in the light

but you don't see, I'm living in mine

i pray for you to wake up kind

and finally realize

chorus:

you looked more like Jesus 

before you ever saw his face

you were a better Christian

before filling up your days

with reading and believing

post-it tabs to the ceiling

all about fruits of the spirit

that don't mean you're not abusive

cuz a million apologies 

don't change that 

you're still hurting me

you're hurting me

outro:

i used to pray, now i just hope