WOW I AM STILL ALIVE.....

Growing up, I carried around a strange silly belief that I wouldn’t live long. Yeah i know it is so funny saying out loud now

I don’t know where it came from. There was no real reason,it was not like i was depressed or something, just this feeling that my life would somehow end early. 

As a kid, it didn’t scare me. It simply shaped the way I imagined my future: I didn’t.

While other people talked about careers, families, and plans for their twenties and thirties, I couldn’t picture myself past eighteen. It was like the world beyond that age was a blurred-out map, a place I wasn’t meant to reach. So I lived without thinking ahead. 

I didn’t dream big because I didn’t think I’d have the chance to live those dreams.

But then…I kept growing.

And suddenly I found myself older past the age I once believed was my limit. And that’s when the confusion hit. Without an imagined future, it felt like stepping onto a stage with no script. 

I didn’t know who I was supposed to be, or what I wanted, because I never thought I’d get here.

Honestly? It left me a little lost.

But being lost isn’t always a bad thing. Being lost means you’re still moving, still searching. And as I’ve grown, I’ve started to appreciate something I never expected to: the simple fact that I’m still here.

Maybe I didn’t picture my future before, but now I get to build it. Slowly. Gently. On my own terms.