Things are getting worse

Things are getting worse. Everything is getting heavier and I'm afraid for myself. She's winning, I'm not stupid. But I still can't help but hang on to whatever tiny sliver of hope I can still muster after all this time. I don't get her, I don't think I ever will. Narcissists are notoriously difficult people to understand. Then again, I think it's quite simple: She only cares about herself, and she will gaslight, manipulate and threaten him into giving her what she wants. And what can I do? All I can do is try and put some sense into him. But I'm not a knight in shining armour and he is not the princess locked in a tower. He's the only one who can get himself out of this. 

So why do I still care so much?

I feel completely worthless. Can't get a job, can barely get around to pay rent, barely have any friends and it seems the universe has decided that romance also isn't in the books for me. So what else do I have left?

Every single day I sit in my apartment and rot away. I eat junk food until I'm nauseous and sleep. In the few moments I'm actually awake, I cry and/or scroll on my phone for hours on end. As if something in that glowing rectangle is eventually going to fix whatever's wrong with me.