my partner of 1 and a half years broke up with me, so i'm dropping 2 years of lore

Yes this happened like two days ago and i still can't believe it.

For context, me and my partner started dating in june last year, and we started living together 4 months later in october. This was mostly a forced thing to do since i didn't have another chance on where to stay. I moved here to the city last year to study in uni, my only option on where to stay was my dad at first who also lives with my brother and some other people (because my dad's house is on top of my uncle's and also there's another house behind in the same square).

Everything was running smoothly for me, tho it was a big change for me to take a little more care of myself since i wasn't living with my mom anymore. Then my father traveled in like may to visit his mom and he said he'd be there for like a week or so, but it ended up being 4 fucking months so yeah he actually left me to fend for myself. 

Just in time there was people protesting in my uni, and we took over the bulding, occupying it so luckily i could stay there for 2 months (yeah that lasted for two months lol), in the meantime my then called friend was living alone at an apartment here in the city, we're from the same generation, he was struggling so much mentally because he's too close to his family. This friend began to come to the building to stay and help us with stuff, and that's where it began. We started dating a month later in june and it was the perfect relationship and everything i could ever ask for. 

After the protest and occupation of the building ended, i was now living with my brother alone since my father was still away at that moment, soon the whole thing began to shatter along with my mental health. He wasn't actually abusive like physically, but he was too mean and verbally abusive, he would go out all day and leaving me with doing all the chores, treating me poorly and shit. The money my mother would send to me i would use it to survive and buy shit to cook at home, if i stayed too long with my boyfriend i'd comeback later to see all the stuff i bought with my money and my benefits just for the half of it to be gone, he would fucking eat all the food i was buying while he could eat like 8 pizzas from little ceasars everytime he hung out with his girlfriend. I started to hate living there.

During september there was holidays, and i decided to buy a ticket to go and see my mother, this was a complete surprise for her, and u used my own fucking money to do so, i asked my brother if he could give me a ride to the bus station at x day at x hour, but he would say no because it was too late, he literally said something like "you really want me to go there that late in the truck? you want me to get robbed or something?" like ok bro you literally play gangsta all the time and you can't give me a fucking ride because you're scared? like are we fr? I then changed the ticket to travel during the day so he could actually give me that ride, i literally sent him the ticket for him to check for himself and making sure everything was fine.

The fucking day of the trip i was organizing my shit, doing the dishes, making the bed (cause i was using my dad's room back then, did i mention the moment i got to that house there wasn't a room for me so i had to sleep with my dad and then he made me a room of 1x3 METERS AND WITHOUT A FUCKING DOOR). 

The moment i was ready my brother called me to his room and deadass said (while half naked in between the sheets with her girlfriend on the side) 

"why didn't you tell me the time you were traveling? like no i can't give you the ride now i got shit to do. I told you you had to tell me before"

THE AUDACITY OF SAYING THAT WHILE ON THE BED HALF AWAKE???

ok so uhh yeah he said that and asked me how much money i had in my hands, i had a single bill of 10.000 pesos (chilean pesos) in my wallet. He deadass told me to call an uber, and you know? the least you can do to fix your shit is to pay for it. Do y'all think he did? of course not! i had to pay for it myself and the uber was 9.800 pesos so i got there broke as fuck.

Luckily i got there before the bus so i could take it and the battle was over. I got there, i surprised my mom and we had a good time. And yeah i told her everything that happened and man she was MAD like fucking mad. My father has always been this irresponsible piece of shit but i refused to believe it all my life. My mama spoke to my bf and asked if i could live with him from now on, we've talked about that before so he accepted immediately. 

I sorted out some shit the moment i came back, i got my things from my father's house slowly, and completely hidden for days, trying to remain on low profile. My friend and his dad helped me move the rest of the things on a certain date to finish everything. Luckily my friend was there with me, otherwise i'm totally sure 'til this day that he would've screamed at me so fucking much, but he didn't. So well i moved! yippie!

Now the main topic, my relationship with mu boyfriend was still good and we talked things through everytime it got rough, he had to start to work, he's currently paying the bills with my mom since i don't work. We were like a happy couple living together. UUUNTIL the adhd started to rise for both of us. 

DIrty dishes, i couldn't even get to my feet to do the chores, taking care of ourselves was so fucking hard for no reason at all, our brain was damaged enough for not letting us finish anything. Currently at the uni i'm taking two courses with the people from the 1st year, and it's fucking embarrassing. I lost some money along the way by loosing a scholarship i had since highschool. Everything started to feel like a trial for me, even basic needs.

This whole thing started to get worse two months ago, we could barely spend a week without me ending up crying locked in the bathroom, or he would be the one crying or we'd both end up crying. Our rough treatment towards eachother wasn't our fault but our environment's fault, adulting so young at 18 and not having any direct family close and trustworthly to lean on it's rough, having to study and work and take care of the house AND still trying to get time for your hobbies and your partner it's fucking rough.

Maybe some of your might thing there was physical pain involved but no, my boyfriend never laid a hand on me and i never laid a hand on him. Our context made us rough and heavy, and we just couldn't hold onto eachother healthy if we couldn't even hold ourselves. So two days ago he said "we need to talk" i was so fucking scared and said "are you mad at me? are you mad in general?" he then told me with his calm and soft voice that we were hurting eachother currently and that we needed to take time to heal, individually. Otherwise this would escalate more and more and we would end up hating eachother and he didn't want that, and of course i didn't want that either. So after crying for a long time i accepted, and of course... what are we gonna do now that we live under the same roof? well, be friends again as we were before dating. I know it's gonna be hard as fuck to do it but i don't have any other option available, the other option would be to come back to my dad wich is not a healthy environment and of course my brother's gonna be there so no, absolutely not.

We spoke our stuff, saying how are we gonna deal with everything, and how we were gonna split the chores and that was it. We still love eachother, but the world around us and life itself was too much to face everything as a couple, so yeah... I have to just get my shit together and go on with my life as we just sleep under the same roof and take care of the cats. We are hurting, but we have eachother's back and it gives me some kind of security knowing that.

I think i might document my healing journey here or my bulletins i don't know yet. I also think this situation might be too specific for someone to identify with, but there's always someone i guess. I just needed to get this huge burden out of my chest.

Anyway, thanks for reading if you made it this far! There's a lot more i want to tell and even more specific points i want to cover but i have to go, bye bye <3