Survey Where I Take Nothing Seriously and I Roast Almost all of Society in a Single Blow

A : What is your name? John Jacob Jingleheimer Shmidt. The Third. Of Northern Sweden. Near Main Street. Take another left dumbass.

B : How old are you? Old enough for your mom to flirt with me.

C : Orientation? I didn't attend my freshman orientation, I was getting stoned in my bedroom listening to Teen Suicide.

D : Gender? Dead inside.

E : Are you dating anyone? Naur, but I'd rather die inside than love somebody. Oop- already dead.

F : Do you have a crush? He's a twinkazoid. Very flowy. Very gay.

G : What country do you live in? That's confidential, you don't need to know. I'm trying to overthrow the government.

H : Summer or Winter? Autumn.

I : How many languages do you know? Like, what kinda languages do you mean, man? Is Californian, like, a language? It would totally not rock if it wasn't.

J : Have any tattoos? How many? One on my forehead. "HIV Positive"

K : Have any pets? How many? What are their names? Yeah. He's a moldy piece of bread but he's also my best friend. Get it best friend!

L : Ever been to another country? Do you want to? Woah woah woah you're getting a little personal on me. Nein. Du bist bust so ein Arschloch, dass du einfach fragst.

M : Favorite school subject? Doing your mom in the hallways during passing period. Whatttt's up?! High-five bro!

N : Favorite beverage? The tears of small overworked children.

O : Favorite food? Parts of your mother.

P : Do you prefer books, movies, or video games? Albums.

Q : Do you have any favorite books/movies/games? Teen Suicide's "I Am My Own Hell Because There is a Devil Inside My Body" but only my version where I don't listen to it at all.

R : How many blogs do you follow? None. You all are assholes.

S : How many followers do you have? None. You all are assholes, part two. Join the club.

T : How many blogs do you have? One. AKA my random ass thoughts and threats against society.

U : Ever been in a physical fight? I threw an orange at a kid. He threw mashed potatoes back at me 6 months later. It counts.

V : What do you want to do when you're older? I'm already older.

W : Favorite fictional character? Helen Keller.

X : Have you ever broken a bone or had surgery? Only mah boner- fuck man, I hate me too. Wanna make out and listen to Sonic Youth?

Y : Favorite genre of music? I-Hate-You-But-I-Hate-Myself-More-But-Also-I-Hate-The-Government-Ooh-Satanism-and-Potential-Threats-Against-Society-and-Instant-Easy-and-Simple-Death-For-Me-After-This-Complex-Drum-Solo-and-Five-Beers-But-Then-I-Won't-Wanna-Die-Anymore-So-I'll-Break-Up-With-My-Girlfriend-So-I-Can-Bang-Hot-Chicks.

Z : Favorite song? 4:33 - John Cage