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So this is a super long bent because I have no one to talk to.
So all my friends call me an alcoholic without knowing the story behind it. People call me a bad person and I don’t even get why. I don’t really care about other people since I don’t really give af about anything anymore.
I can’t keep my diet and all the weight I lost, 10kg in one month, has just come all back and I can’t go back AT ALL. It’s making me feel like a pig, and a failure and god knows what else.
I don’t wanna wake up tomorrow because I don’t wanna e me anymore. I wanna cut myself until my arms fall off and I can bleed to death and just evaporate from the fricking face of the goddamn earth.
I’m going to vacation soon, to see my best friends who, I love. But I love the a lot really, and still, I don’t have motivation. I’m so TIRED. and I don’t know why. I don’t do anything fisical, but I’m so drained for so,e reason that I just can’t do ANYTHING. I’ve been just skipping homework and skipping class. I’ve been procrastinating loads and I’ve been eating and drinking coffee and I so bloated and all my problems are just rolling into a giant big ball of black mess. And the ball is so huge that I’m gonna explode soon and fall off my tall tall building.
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Sayorii<3
Im sorry your carrying all of this, life's a real bi'ch sometimes :( I've been in a similar place before, and it really sucks... But the only thing I can rlly tell you right now is that it will get better, someday. It might be in a year or a day or a month, but things can change.
Pls don't let those thoughts consume you, and pls stay safe <3 <3 U don't have to fix everything right now, it's alright to feel exhausted and shitty, just take it day by day. Im not rlly good at giving advice, but a thing that's helped me is probably journaling, and like taking care of myself, even if it's just a little(like brushing my hair, showering, makeup and stuff..)
Anyway im not the best at comforting ppl, but I just wanna tell you it's okay to feel this way, and pls stay safe
<3 <3 <3