hi I wrote something

terzo exposing himself on the internet challenge impossible🙏🏻I'm trying to get some of my work out in the wild to get comfortable with the thought of people probably getting to know it one day,, UUGHH ts is gonna be so ass </3

(TW ig for some parts)

You're starting to hate your name and face again, unable to tell what you look like in the mirror. Trying hard to build yourself, dyeing your hair, piercing your ears, slitting your wrists and making a scene. You bare your teeth, growl, scream and fight back, you dig skin with claws and fangs and words sharp as a razor blade. Can't smoke so you poison yourself the only other way you know, can't take a stand and take some pills to end it all so you just sit down, stand-by, passively going on.

That's not you anymore, you're not you anymore. You're different now, you're trying to change. How can one be so different and still feel all the same?

I won't start to hate my name, my face and my body again. Staring in the mirror I'll stop wondering who's staring back. I can't undig my fangs and claws, I can't unsay the words I said. The scars I gave hold the memory of what I was, it's not in my power to make them fade.

I'll dye my hair and pierce my ears, won't slit my wrists to hide my tears. I'm not a child anymore, I can handle the pain, it's my own thing to solve so who else is to blame?

I'm not you anymore, you're not you anymore. I'm different now, I've tried to change, maybe if I try harder it won't feel all the same.

Can't be normal about anything, can't handle things in healthy ways. I'll pick up the pieces of the mess we made if you'll help me clean it up. One of us has to go, I'll leave, if that's okay, so you can stay and start again.

We can't fix this mess together, I'm the one who has to change. You can sit down if you'd like, leave the cleaning up to me. It's what I need, it's all I ask for. I'll clear the ground from all I spilled, from the shards of half of the one I used to be. I'm not nearly half the man I thought I'd turn out to be. It's up to me, up to me, up to me. In the end it was all because of me.

                                                                               -T signing off