Break up (lil vent ig)

I just had a bad break up with a guy who I've been wish for awhile,he completed me made me so happy and filled my heart with joy. But I let my overthinking, trust issues, and trauma ruin that for us. I got upset over little things, I tired to be calm and mature and tell him every little thing that upset him but he didn't like this and became to much for him. I was just trying to make sure we were healthy but I guess I ruined it then, idk. I love him deeply and probably always will he was my first in many things and I was his first in many things as well so I hope he remembers me and thinks about me too sometimes. His mom told me to keep his hoodie so I guess I have something to remember him by idk lol I've been sleeping in it every night doesn't smell like him anymore but I remember his scent and what it felt like to be held and touched by him and I miss it dearly. I wish I knew he was gonna leave me before I put in the effort to make him a book each page different things about how I love him. I used to go to his house alot we'd watch hazbin hotel and then haunted hotel lol (we barely payed attention tho) I just don't know how I'm gonna get over him, I don't talk or hangout with many people so I have no way to distract myself from him. If anyone has any advice lmk