Maybe I Just Don't Understand People (Rant)

To preface this, I want to say this was spurred on by my mom telling me about someone at her work, basically complaining about having to train some person at her work, and the way my mom described them made me upset, so allow me to explain.

She said this person acting too shy for the job, that being talking to truck drivers over a microphone (the job is at a port). She said how they were being meek and were talking too low for the truck drivers to hear, as well as repeating questions back to her a lot. She also mentioned that they were unkempt and dirty, with their clothes not suited for the job and dandruff in their hair.

However, what bothers me is that she seemed disgusted and annoyed with this persons behavior rather than concerned, which is what I felt upon being told this story. For once, I couldn't relate to her annoyance because all of this just made me feel bad for the new person who was clearly struggling. Like if I talked with someone like that, I wouldn't be mad at them because they were anxious on what was assumedly their first day. As for the dirtiness, sure its not a pretty sight, but this just concerns me about what their home life might be like. If someone is dirty, it doesn't make me upset, it just makes me nervous for them.

So the point of this post. I don't understand why people so often react with anger or disgust to something that upsets them or something they don't understand. I can't understand why my mom didn't react with empathy instead of anger towards this person enough to come home and talk bad about them. I'm sure this person didn't want to be nervous or dirty, but you never know what someone is going through that would cause that. My mom also mentioned that she knew that she was unsure of why they looked so messy, saying the same thing as me with "Wondering how they were living", but it still felt like this didn't come from a place of genuine understanding.

Idk I just don't get why people seem to never react to others with empathy the way I try to. Like when I see someone clearly anxious or struggling, I don't feel upset. I try to put myself in their shoes. I know what its like to be afraid or shy about speaking, so I honestly felt worse for the person my mom was training than her in this scenario. Sure, the job may be centered around speaking, but maybe its just first-day jitters. I think my mom should give them time instead of assuming the job isn't a good fit just because they had a bad first day. I wouldn't be upset. I would try to be understanding.

Though I suppose I understand where my mom is coming from too. She said she had a lot to do, so I guess it just got on her nerves. Don't get me wrong, my mom is a very nice person, I just disagree with the way she acts sometimes.

Not to make myself seem like some saint though. I have passed plenty of judgement, some deserved, some not. However, I know how much it can hurt to feel rejected or alienated from peers for one reason or another, and I try to remind myself to be humble. I guess I just remind myself to do my best to be understanding, even if I seem cold and reserved to others when they meet me. I'm not perfect, but I'll do my best.