Trying to stay happy and sillly

any time ive felt kinda useless ive been trying to do smthing else instead. maybe i forget to do chores or am just bad at existing all together. but i have to remind myself that it doesn't make me unworthy of life food or happieness. its all things i need to work on but as long as i give my all, no matter how pathetic it may seem. i still am aloud to exist happily, or as happy as i can.

its difficult and i need to be nicer to myself, and its hard when people tell me all the time that i just need to do bettter now and that i can do what i cant yet. but if i can hide the fact i cant yet until i got it figured out then i dont need to worry. 

i believe maybe one day ill be functioning enough that i dont have to worry about disappointing others around me

i believe that even though I'm constantly told it wont get easier, it will eventualy be easier. 

i will get better

and i will be happy with myself