Love dies little by little

Never before has it hurt so much, seeing how that person stops trusting me when I always told them everything: my problems, my self-harm, my eating disorder, EVERYTHING! I don't know what I did to make them not trust me... to make them feel insecure... to make everything fall apart. Now I'm feeling my love for them slowly dying because of their complete lack of interest. How many times have I thought about walking away? Too many. How many times have I done it? Not once. They're someone special to me, and they're slowly killing me. I can't believe that being with them is killing me, but not being there is killing me too. All those promises... all that love... it's dying in my hands, and they can tell. But what can I do? Their attitude tires and disgusts me. It's not the same as the first day, the feelings aren't the same as the first day. If I try to heal, they stop me. I don't know what's wrong with them; it's horrible. It drives me crazy. I try to end it all, but I never succeed. Eating is disgusting, my body is disgusting. I'll never believe the words "I love you." Do they think I don't notice? My body will never be what they want. I just want to disappear, disappear completely from their life. I've already tried twice... will the third time be the charm? Making plans and disappearing, only to reply an hour later, just shows me that I don't matter anymore. I should just kill myself and say goodbye to this world.