boundaries can be lonely.

for almost two years, i've learned how to draw the line.
not in literal terms, oh god, but in a metaphorical sense.
yes, i've become more confident when it comes to letting
someone know of how i feel, or being able to recognize my limits.
however, of course, just like in many cases, there are always going
to be opposite, negative aspects.

when you start to grow, people don't always grow with you (unfortunately so).
some might take your boundaries as walls, as rejection, as some sudden coldness you never intended.
others may see your honesty as confrontation, or perceive your clarity as arrogance. and maybe the
hardest part is realizing that real self growth can seem like loss to everyone else.

you learn that drawing the line isn't just about protecting yourself in difficult moments.
it's about accepting that some people only liked the version of you who never said, "no,"
who swallowed discomfort and stretched themselves thin to keep everyone else comfortable.

and when you stop being that person... you quietly realized of who stays,
and who only stayed because your silence made things easier.

i admit, i'm still not over how certain things ended, especially knowing they refused to communicate
right when i finally found the courage to open up. it pains me to know that i gave them honesty, vulnerability, and the most genuine version of myself only to be met wtih silence. it’s a strange kind of hurt, the kind that lingers quietly. because you don’t just grieve the ending; you grieve the effort you made, the words you shared, the bravery it took to say what you’d held in for so long.

and maybe what stings the most is realizing that some people ask for honesty until they’re actually given it. then suddenly, you become too much, too direct, too real.

but even with that pain, i’m learning.
learning that my openness wasn’t the mistake.
trusting the wrong audience was.
and in time, maybe that realization will hurt less,
and feel more like another boundary i learned to draw,
another version of myself i refused to abandon.

anyways, yes im still bitter, LMFAO
it just gets very tiring.
one day, i'll come to terms with it.

 - zai