Love is hardd

I dont talk about my sexuality, yumeshipping, or identity in detail much, but i thought itd be nice to just write something simple for the day.

I remember being so incredibly whipped for this one chick back in middle school. We stopped talking a while ago, but I remember being so in love with her and so sad she didn't really love me back cause she was aromantic asexual. We did date but it was so one sided. I was really upset even though I understood, but I understand even more now because of my own identity discovery (?).

I haven't really fallen in love since. I mean, I could say I did fall in love with my close friend for a while, but I think it was more of a "I can picture us being a married couple and I do love him so it must be romantic, right?" kind of love, but now I think he's just a future housemate bestie friend.

I believe I'm a cupioromantic, so it's weird but also kinda good that my one love right now isn't even real in this universe. im in real love with him but i dont have to stress over it so much. i dont even have to think. i can just love him without worrying. being a riako yumejoshi is cool.

having my wallpaper as my f/o's, writing and drawing about us, engaging in their media... i feel so girlish and in touch with my femininity right now somehow. im in real love, i wear dresses and skirts a lot more now recently, and i feel like im floating every moment of the day. im so full of joy!

love is hard, yeah, but i wont give up just cause im weak. i have a hard time holding on and processing these feelings, but carrying such weight has led up to me floating on fluffy clouds instead of eggshells—wearing dainty heels instead of my fuzzy house slippers and pajamas to the store. maybe its okay for me to have not found love in another non fictional person in the world I live in, because im fine with what i have! its not harmful, im happy, and its working so far.

cringe culture is out, being yourself is in!