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yeah okay so stop raping men as well.
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why is it that the immediate response from men, when women vent about rape, is that men get raped too?
for one, a woman speaking about the rape of women is her right. it is not disregard of men's rape. it's really immature to bring that up as some sort of talking point or "defense" when the point is that someone is speaking out for women.
it strips the focus off women's sexual assault and makes it about the fact she didn't speak about men, which is really a way of saying, "you shouldn't complain about rape because it also happens to us".
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second, if you (as a man) care so much about the fact that men experience rape, go make a video about it. raise awareness for male victims. that is your right. you will have all the support of women because it's not the competition you guys make it out to be.
furthermore, you need to create a community of sympathy within men. why it's so easy for women to talk about sexual assault with each other is because we do not imply that the victim "should've liked it" or just needs to "grow up". both of which are very common comments from MEN in the rare occasion that a male victim does make a video speaking out FOR men.
instead of trying to infiltrate and break the space that women have built for themselves, build your own.
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finally, i feel it's important you know who exactly is raping men. it's men. this is not to say that women don't rape. they absolutely do. but just letting you know that we ALL benefit from calling out bad men.
if you know your friend has a habit of ignoring boundaries and pushing himself onto girls, you best report him before he slides his penis into you next.
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thinking cap questions:
1. is it mature to say "but men get raped too" under a video of a woman speaking about sexual assault on women? why not?
2. who is more likely to rape you (even if you're a man)? does this mean that the other side doesn't rape?
3. what should you do if you realize that your friend or just someone you know (man or woman) has sexually assaulted someone?
Comments
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Lumi
Although my opinion doesn't differ much from what's been said here, I want to offer my opinion on one part of the text. I wish abused men had the full support of women, but that's not the case, I've seen videos where guys talk about how they were dismissed and ignored, and as far as I can remember, there are always women around who invalidate them too, And unfortunately, there are quite a few of them, although in general, women who don't support men don't support other women either; people lack empathy, and men are even worse. You can try to communicate these things, but the vast majority of men (white, heterosexual, and possibly misogynistic men) are as stubborn as mules and mock you relentlessly.
I don't want to contradict what's been said, but the truth is that the world is still far from empathetic enough for that idyllic moment where someone condemns their abuse and people support them, I guess the only thing we can do is make noise until something like that happens
(If something sounds weird or doesn't make sense, I'm using a translator because my English is awful, lmao)
I've never personally experienced women invalidating abuse but I believe it happens. that should be even more reason for men to create safe spaces for each other, so they know they're not alone regardless.
unfortunately you're right though. the world is so dystopian right now, you really can just complain about it rather than change it. :(
also your english was fine! what's your first language?
by soul st★r; ; Report
It's true that there should be more safe spaces for men who have suffered abuse, but to add to everything said before, given the way some men tend to be, some wouldn't take this option, or worse, there are some who have no idea/don't care about having been abused (The typical comments from men saying things like "I wish I'd had that experience when I was younger" in response to another man talking about how an older woman abused them when they were young—the cultural shift that society needs is so huge
As for my language, I speak Spanish, although I probably speak it badly too.
by Lumi; ; Report
yea I think men's responses to another man's abuse speaks to how society grows boys in the first place. as if the peak to life is having sex. so regardless of if you're taken advantage of, it's still okay because it speaks to your worth as a man. which is completely untrue but so many men grow up believing that to be raped is a good luck experience.
the entire trajectory of how boys are taught about their body autonomy/consent and relations to girls (and eventually women) needs to change. it's harmful from the start.
also I'd never guess your first language wasn't English. you speak it really well!
by soul st★r; ; Report
Yes, we definitely need to change many things to end all these problems, but people around the world aren't cooperating, For example, in my country they cut funding to a comprehensive sex education project that was intended to guide teenagers to avoid pregnancy, disease and abuse, But the governors never help, so it's up to us people to do the best we can for change. And thank you, I quite like languages.
by Lumi; ; Report
i think the problem as well is not that the governments are trying to help the world but failing. they are quite literally doing this on purpose. they benefit from keeping the poor, poor and the rich, rich. so they end up coming up with excuses. acting like they're saving money or such, just to take benefits away from those who really need it.
by soul st★r; ; Report
Yeah, they definitely do that, at least a few of them do, although significant changes can still be made even if they don't cooperate.
by Lumi; ; Report