this is edgy don't read this

every night is a restless attempt at closing your eyes... lay still.... feel your body wind down, or try to at the very least.... your toes, they're turning off! like little lightbulbs!! move that feeling to your ankles, up your legs... DON'T STOP NOW!! almost there! what's that? do you hear it? it can't be that familiar familial ferocity and the bitter hushed tones of backhanded remarks, angry paces, treading carefully on those eggshells.... you remember, don't you? the sting of his ring after the slightest bit of lip, gashed gruesome gore ridden knees dragged by the hair limping quickly across the linoleum floor, you remember!! good, i remember too. do you remember what that was really about? it wasn't dishes.... you weren't doing them wrong. you were eleven. you left out that stupid obsolete butter dish with no lid. do you remember? how drastically the day had shifted upon that shattering silence between you and your sister, you saw the fear in her eyes, a glimpse of the terrifying timeline of events that would conspire quickly after mommy went out the door to work nightshift. don't you remember?! good. do you feel sick? this is no time to!!

those years of being beaten, bruised, and broken made you tough as nails! you're so mature, you handle everything so well!! you're okay, right? no? i don't care. nobody does when nobody sees.... and me? i saw nothing.