Who really writes love poems?

When we think of love poems, we often picture two people: the one who loves and the one who is loved. Yet, there’s a fascinating paradox: the true author of the poem isn’t always the person in the relationship. Often, the one writing it is the observer—the one who feels the pain and turns it into words.

A love poem is born from longing, heartbreak, and emotional distance. The observer—the one who feels without possessing—captures the essence of passion and sorrow. While the couple experiences daily life, small arguments, and fleeting moments, the external poet transforms that experience into verses that resonate. In this way, love becomes more than a shared feeling: it becomes universal art, accessible to anyone who has loved and lost, anyone who has felt from the sidelines.

In other words, the true author of a love poem is often not the one actively loving, but the one suffering as they witness that love. This distance allows them to turn desire, frustration, and pain into words that move others, because writing from someone else’s heart requires sensitivity, introspection, and deep empathy.

This reminds us that the art of love doesn’t belong solely to the lover, but also to the observer, the one who feels and translates others’ experiences into language. Each love poem becomes a mirror: it reflects what the poet sees and feels, rather than the reality of the relationship itself.

A poem, then, is a testament to shared pain, not directly lived, and in that tension lies its beauty. Love and writing intertwine so that, paradoxically, those most deeply affected are often those who only watch.

Ultimately, we might ask ourselves: if the poem moves us so profoundly, is it because it speaks of love itself, or of the suffering of the one who witnesses it? Perhaps the deepest part of love lies in the gaze that knows how to suffer it without owning it.

Rosastre.