glorified girlfriend

when my life was half full, yours was eternally half empty. i treaded on a tight rope for your adoration, blisters on my feet from the distances i went for you and your silent laugh. 

part of me painfully dying in wait, waiting for you to come and say hello. you, lethal angel, kept me in grief so long i abandoned the hope of being desired. i left my age of discovery to kneel at your altar daily, telling myself you'll love me tonight; if not tonight, once Monday comes. Monday never seemed to show dawn, and i spent those four years on restless, endless days of prayer.

i believed, and you blinded me with every kind remark, with the light only an ethereal entity could emit. by November, i am left standing amongst the ashes from our burnt-out spark and question whether it was my devotion that turned you dull. 

in a year or four i hope you may forgive my mistake of worshipping your name like God's.