Its getting worse

this is my second blog  it’s kinda about the same topic, sooo let’s just starttt.

Here’s the first example
He’s a professional tennis player, and I went to watch one of his matches. The problem was, the matches were in a place where no bus actually stops and I didn’t know that. It was 7 p.m., and I needed to be home by 8. I waited for a while, but no bus came. Then one came… but it didn’t stop. I was so mad. The place was creepy, and if you live in Turkey, you know that makes it ten times worse for a girl alone at night. I was literally about to cry. So I called him and told him I was scared  I couldn’t even make myself cross the street. And guess what? He came to get me. I was so embarrassed, but he just joked about it, calling himself my “superhero.” (As a joke, obviously.)
BUT THIS IS JUST THE FIRST EXAMPLE.

Every time we go somewhere that’s not the mall, he walks me to the bus stop. Okay, it kinda makes sense because my bus passes by his tennis place, but still his parents could pick him up anywhere, and he hates buses. So I don’t know… maybe I’m overthinking, but still.

Next example
One time we were walking to the bus stop again, and I was freezing. When I’m cold, I do two specific things  and he noticed right away. He gave me his jacket. He’s tried to before, but I always refused. That time, I finally said fine. Maybe it was just a friendly gesture? I honestly have no idea.
Now this one was totally my fault.
I was super sleepy on the bus, and I almost fell asleep on his shoulder. Yep. My fault. I was barely keeping my eyes open while he was showing me something on his phone, and I just dozed off. Then I woke up, and he was just chill, saying he was fine with it since we’re close. I thought, “Well, it already happened, no going back now,” and fell back asleep like that. He got off later at his tennis place.

Then there was our school trip.
There was this boy who liked me before, but I rejected him. He was there too, and my close friend and I weren’t even talking to him. But the whole trip, that boy kept looking at me. It felt so awkward, especially since he has a girlfriend now. When we went to eat at a restaurant, I was sitting next to my close friend. I was wearing his watch, using his phone, and he was using mine. We were doing this in front of the guy I rejected.
Then, the boy I rejected tried to talk to my close friend  which was super weird, because he said really bad things about him before. Just because they were both close to me. Now they don’t talk anymore. So him suddenly trying to talk again felt fake. I think the guy I rejected might actually think me and my close friend are a couple now. And what makes it worse? The guy I rejected is really close with the boy I actually like. So I’m terrified he might say something about me and my friend.

My close friend and I talk for hours every single day. Some of our classmates even asked one of my friends if we were a couple.
And honestly… I don’t know what to think, what to feel, or what to say anymore. He’s such a nice person  I have nothing bad to say about him. But everything just feels so complicated.

I don’t know anything anymore.
I feel like a whore. There’s this boy I like, and then there’s my close friend. What am I even doing? What if the boy I like thinks we’re a couple too?