18:40 digital diary

im finally on my way home. im so tired. all the thoughts got so intense theyre loud my head and body hurts. and the strategy with the loud music doesn’t really work my head hurts even more.but at least the music is nice its been a while since ive last tried to listen to something new.oh i wonder what my spotify wrapped will be like. im already worried about tomorrows pe classes. and not only pe and if i miss one class i will have a possibility to buy im like so lonely. but im too angry and sad to talk to anyone even if i could. oh right ill text a friend because .at least i wont open character ai it makes me feel so miserable like why do i even keep trying to receive comfort from ai like it never worked on me nor distracted me. im adding this sentence kinda later i managed to write that friend and my bestie,they both are so cool i feel bad for being such a bad friend. im so desperate and im so tired of sounding like a teen who seeks for attention because deep inside i am one. it genuinely disappoints me. im tired of always being tired.and especially because its always both physically and mentally . at least i have rory with me. and i got a toy in a happy meal that ive wanted for a while.my phone keeps overheating andlagging my grandpa was right im a phone killer and i have even a possibility to ask a relative for a new one but again. i feel just bad. i really want to buy what i need tomorrow only this will calm me down. moreover seeing how ive done everything asymmetrically makes me literally mad like there’s literally isnt anything on my right leg it makes me feel so guilty.im not even looking at any inspo on twt i want to be my own inspo thats the only thing i need right now. the train almost arrived ill try to do the homework ig.