He Was My Almost

It’s kinda weird that my first blog post is about him… but whatever.

There’s this boy I like. He’s around 1.82 meters tall (no idea how much that is in feet), brown hair, glasses  kinda nerdy, funny if you actually talk to him. Sometimes he can be caring and sweet… but not for long. I’ve never cared much about appearance, but my friends keep saying that I should.

We first met because of his twin sister. My friend group and I went to the mall that day, and two of my friends left early. His brother and the boy my friend liked were there too, so we decided to join them. That’s how I met him awkward, quiet, barely talking. I was just there to support my friend, right?

My friends and I always rate guys in our school (doesn’t every girl do that?). I usually give everyone low scores  only a few get higher than a 5. But my best friend noticed something weird: I kept giving him high points. This was even before I met him in person. Another time, while we were talking about two completely random people, I accidentally said his name out of nowhere my friends couldn’t stop laughing.

Two weeks before the last week of school, we were doing that Love Island ChatGPT thing for fun, and even ChatGPT was shipping me with him. That’s when my friends started shipping us for real. But we had zero contact  until that one Friday.

That day, I forgot my capybara toy on the school bus. He and his friend (who’s his twin sister’s ex) were the last ones to get off. His sister called him and asked him to grab it for us. We literally ran across the school to get it, and while we were running, he kept sending pictures of him messing with my poor capybara. I was mad. When we finally caught up, I got my toy back  but I swore there would be revenge.The revenge happened about a week later. We were both in different classes, but since it was the end of the school year, only a few people came, so they combined all the classes. I brought a toy slingshot to school (no elastics, so I used my hair ties) and shot him every chance I got. Revenge accomplished.

That day, he, his sister, and I played Roblox together. I helped fix his Roblox account, and he promised to get me a chocolate as thanks. Later that night, I checked Instagram and there it was his follow request.  He texted me about Roblox and even said “goodnight.” I was head over heels 

The next day, his friend brought a water gun to school and started shooting me because of what happened yesterday. He and I (without his sister this time) played Roblox again we played Broken Bones and had so much fun. That afternoon, his sister and I went and bought water guns to bring the next day.That day, he was at the mall alone watching a movie. After it ended, he came to hang out with me and his sister. I shot him every chance I got. At one point, he sat down on a couch at IKEA, and I showed him my PSP. I even let him play it. We talked about games, made a few bets (I lost both, oops), and I realized we actually had a lot in common. He brought me the chocolate he owed me, and when I went home, I fell asleep only to wake up to his text the next morning.

He texted me about the game we played, how he beat me, then started talking about his cats. We played Roblox again and talked until midnight.The next day, my best friend invited me to the mall, and at first, I said no  I wasn’t in the mood. Then he said something that made me instantly say yes: he was inviting him and his sister too. NO WAY. I got ready and went out, not even realizing how little sleep I’d had from texting him all night. When we met, I was so shy, but the day turned out perfect. We hung out, laughed, and when I got home… we texted again.

For a whole month, everything was perfect. We talked every day, texted nonstop, even called each other. I went to sleep with his “goodnight” messages and woke up to his texts. It felt so right.

Then came that Friday.

He became distant. I tried to talk to him about it, but he kept denying it or saying I was the one being distant. I’ve tried to keep things alive for months. I still do. But now, if I don’t text first, he barely texts at all.

Still, I can’t let go. Maybe it’s hope. Maybe it’s love. I just want things to go back to how they were when everything felt light and easy and right.There are a lot of little details I didn’t include here (some are kinda boring), but if anyone’s actually interested, I can tell them personally.

I’ve never had a boyfriend or girlfriend before. I want my first to be special someone I truly trust and love with all my heart. In this generation, people date just to say they’re dating. I don’t want that. 

So yeah… I still hope he’ll come back. I want to fall asleep to his “goodnight” again and wake up to see his name on my screen.