i will forever be jealous of amab people

god i wish i was born a boy! im not a trans man idk what i am but one thing i know is that if i where to be born a man my life would be just so much better! the only bad thing i can think of is the army but i wouldn't even qualify bc of my horrible scoliosis! ik that there is testosterone and shit but i do NOT want to come out to my family ever! if i where to ever start t i would need to cut out my family and live somewhere far away from here (most trans people here get murdered, its a country full of Muslims who see queerness as haram)