Since when did it become so difficult to exist?

Hello, I'm Lemon, and I think I'm starting to get depressed... 

(at least that's how I feel)

Lol

That sounds kind of bad for my first "blog", but oh well...

Everything was fine before I graduated high school, even after graduation it seemed great, but shortly after I got a boyfriend and from then on everything went downhill.

University is one of the reasons, since in my country it's difficult to be admitted to the program I want; I took the exam in May, and the results were released in August (a very long wait), only for me not to be admitted, and while all my high school acquaintances were starting university, I was waiting for the course I took to prepare for the exam to start again in a week so I can prepare to take the exam again... 

So far so good, I had a boyfriend, and once again I had time to study and reinforce what I had learned in the previous course

BUT THEN my mom enrolled me in a private university, which was disappointing in terms of quality since it cost a lot for what they offered, my mother and I realized this... I was there for a month and really It's a good thing I got out of there, it wasn't worth studying there. She decided to enroll me because it was important to her that I start studying; it's not her fault, that university disappointed us both.

I leave there and return to the courses (at the end of September) to prepare for the exam, TAKING INTO ACCOUNT that I had already lost a month of study, and the exam was at the beginning of November. 

One way or the other I resumed my studies, and a few weeks passed, and then BANG!!! My boyfriend broke up with me in the coldest and most insensitive way I could have imagined coming from him...

I didn't stop; I kept studying, I kept going...

I took the exam a week ago... 

I don't feel well...

I wish I hadn't wasted a month of study at that university that wasn't worth it.

I have faith that I'll be accepted, even though there's still a chance I won't be. Despite everything, despite the situation with my now ex-boyfriend, I kept going, but now I'm so tired...

Of course it's NORMAL to be tired after so much stress, but this tiredness feels different. It's like exhaustion, uncertainty, pain, loneliness; I just want to sleep, I'm so tired...

I guess I'll keep writing, bye-bye

- Lemon