poem i wrote

blehh its deff more of a spoken poem but i thought id post it here aswell

I stutter when people ask me my name

the guilt flows through my throat and erupts through my mouth

i vomit pink and cry my apologies

why am i ashamed? 

ive been spoon fed womanhood since the day i was born

dresses and bows and makeup

it always felt like the biggest act of self betrayal

i never knew why until i was sitting in the car with my mother

and as she told me of my sister turned brother, all i could think was "when will it be my turn?"

but here i stand with a heavy heart at a simple question

"be a man" i tell myself

but i start to wonder if i ever will be

if ill ever be able to bare my teeth and say it with confidence

that i am zander, and i always have been

or if ill cower away like the little girl i was raised to be