comeing to terms with being a femboy was lowkey harder than accepting i am trans

i've always had an odd relationship with gender, i had this diary in second grade where i made up a guy and pretended he was my friend and them i wrote about him in third person doing the things i did that day like the sighns were there, and when i started learning words to express that in fifth grade it was easy for me to accept i wasn't a girl. and then i cut my hair short and only wore jeans (which were awful and made me cry but i wore them to feel masculine) and t shirts i got rid of all my skirts and "feminine" cloths and just now i've started bringing those cloths back into my wardrobe, i love wearing skirts and dresses and fishnets and makeup all the "feminine cloths" it's sometimes hard to accept, i want to be percieved as a man but still wear the clothing style i adore. but to be honest if i explain to people it's not hard for them to understand and not misgender me after a bit. Im so glad i came to terms with it I love fashion desighn and i've made three skirts one dress and im working on another one i make kandi i love all of it either way lol being a femboy was what i struggled with not being trans