Infatuation and why it's made me miserable

I absolutely hate the way infatuation works and how it can make me miserable beyond comprehension. All it has done for the past 3 months now is make it impossible to talk to other people. As much as I want to be in a new relationship after my ex, I simply can't like anyone other than the guy I like currently. Problem is; he's older than me. Like way older AND my best friend. Plus I'm gay and he's straight. He'd never see me like that.

Unless you count that time he brought up a character I like unprompted. But that's probably nothing.
But it's also a character of his I like and he supports me liking.

TOTALLY nothing!