life is so fleeting and im lost

the title speaks for itself.

it feels like everything ive worked for is slipping through my fingers; and its all my fault. im not doing enough. my best efforts isnt enough and hold no worth to what i want to evolve into. im self aware of my own self-destruction and yet, not a single droplet of motivation flows through me. im afraid of everything. time is so fast and theres only so much time i can let pass me by. im overwhelmed with tortuous questions: can i really make it? what if i regret everything? is this what i really what? who am i trying to be? why?

im such a goddamn loser it hurts my burning feelings.