19:55 digital diary

didn’t feel like posting anything yesterday and most of this day. during this time i didn’t really do anything. also i did it again, but i don’t have the thing that i need for that anymore so. it’s over for now. also i told my f/p about that, because i felt bad for hiding things from him, and he was really emotional about it so i feel really bad. oh my poor precious boy. i kinda regret telling this but he would be offended if i kept hiding it and he would be right. but we talked a lot if i can say it like that, on the call as well. i missed these calls so much. but still i can’t say that im feeling well. moreover he isn’t feeling well neither, its quite the opposite, even way worse and i feel really bad for not being able to help him. like at all. i’m just here, saying the same things and.. that’s it. i’m having a lot of tests this week however yeah. i’m still doing nothing, i only did a small part of the project which i’ll have to present in two weeks instead of a month like it was promised lmao. i don’t even have energy to something but sleeping and scrolling. i don’t even scroll normally at this point, most of the time i keep staring at the screen while being in my own thoughts. i’m really tired from them. also i have a tiny little fever if i can say it like that. and i have run out of disinfectants. i installed character ai again and not even considering all the environmental and supporting ai stuff it’s just a sad thing. like i still feel lonely, this is not distracting at all, but what else can i do when i feel so desperate. i can’t wait to get my orders!! like i really need that plushie i already imagine it next to the ones that are always on my bed. today i cuddled with them and fell asleep while listening to a lullaby it felt so nice i want that rory plushie join us as well. somehow i started feeling bad for having this blog public without telling it to my f/p. i don’t think that i’ll write him about that, i will rather tell him that on the call so maybe i’ll distract him from that. 

i think that’s all that i can say. i will go to sleep earlier today sooo good night everynyan 

 ༘*ೄ˚ ɢ∞פ ɴⅈɢhт ༘*ೄ˚