To Be Free is To Be Cringe / To Be Cringe is To Be Free

Started: 11/9/25

Finished: 11/9/25

I have spent a good portion of my life being very concerned about what others think about me. I used to be a lot more anxious than I am. In part this was because my mom growing up was quite judgmental and expected me to be the way she would like me to. It always felt like I was being forced to fit a mold not of my own design, and everyone knew I was doing it "wrong" and yet I was still expected to continue. Generally, I always had this feeling that I am on the outside of the regular human experience. Now I know this is partly because of my neurodivergence. The social landscape of the early 2000s-2010s where people would make fun of everything deemed "cringey" certainly didn't help. 

But now that I have gotten somewhat more of an "adult" I have been finding myself more able to express myself in a way that has been remarkably freeing. Teenager me probably never thought I would be happy like I am now (for the most part). So I just wanted to share the ways that I have felt myself become more free and able to express myself authentically.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

1) Piercings & Jewelry

I like piercings a lot. I got an eyebrow piercing earlier this year and a nostril piercing just last week. I did these things knowing that my mom would not approve of them but also knowing that if I continued to be wary of her opinions I would never grow to be my own person. I had also wanted these piercings for a while, so it was not done in spite of her -- it just happens to be something she would not like. I have plans to get more piercings on my ears. Currently, I just have two on each lobe but I would like to get a helix and/or conch piercings, and possibly an industrial if I'm feeling particularly passionate about it.

The jewelry I wear tends to be big and dangly, also something that has helped me express myself. I like to wear shapes of things I think are cool -- so like dog paws, swords, spiderwebs, guitars, and the like. I also like things that are just pretty like crescent moons, stars, butterflies. This is not only an expression of self it does tend to make whatever outfit I throw on when I don't have time to think too hard about it more interesting. :P

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

2) Other Types of Accessories 

I wear chokers basically every day. I never wear them when I am at home, but when I am on campus I wear them daily. I just really like them. It has definitely made me feel more free.

I have three pairs of wolf/dog tails and a pair of wolf ears. I don't wear them as often because, admittedly, it is still an area that I am cautious about expressing in public. But over the summer, I went to a video game and anime convention where it is obviously more acceptable to dress however you like. I wore my tails and ears that week in public and in front of my friends for the first time and it was so. so. incredibly freeing. I loved it. I was so happy. I wish that I could do that more often! But sometimes I wear them when I am home just for myself. :]

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

3) Pins, Keychains, Stickers

I like to make my own stickers, so my laptop is literally covered in stickers that I made or are important to me. Stickers from video games I like (I say "video games" but it is literally just from Persona) and canine-related stickers are the primary things on there. 

I also like to collect pins and keychains. As to be expected, the majority of them are dog or wolf pins or keychains (I am very predictable). I also have pins from video games (again.. Persona. Very, very predictable) and other media I like. 

I'm probably going to put pictures of these things here later but right now I am too lazy and want to post this NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P But stay tuned... I guess.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

4) Personality...?

I told some friends this recently -- I think I want to be someone who others feel comfortable with enough to be "weird," if that makes sense. When I think about others who were/are very concerned about other peoples' opinions, I want to be that person that is so "themself" that others are more inspired to also be themselves. Does this make sense?? I hope so. It would have been helpful for me (and probably was, I just may not realize it) to see others be "cringe and free". So I want to be that person. 

My personality is the same as it ever was, but now I do feel more comfortable around my friends to express myself in a way that I may have felt too embarrassed to do so previously. All of my friends know that canine imagery, metaphors, and references are very significant to my identity so nobody cares if I send dog reaction memes or spam "bark" for no reason. It's a little childish but it is very nice to not be judged by my friends. :3 

I am neurodivergent. I am brown. I am in the LGBT community. I am an alterhuman. I am always, in some way, going to be perceived as strange or bad by someone at any given point. As such, I no longer find it necessary to change myself to be more acceptable. I am always going to be deemed unacceptable by someone. There is no point in trying to be anything else if I do not want to do that. I am not actively trying to be seen as weird, but moreso am simply acting in ways that I want to -- and those things just end up being seen that way. :P

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you do to express yourself? Are you worried about being perceived as "cringe" or "weird"? I'm curious to know. ^^