Is Having a Boyfriend REALLY Embarrassing Now?

I recently read Chanté Joseph’s article in Vogue Britain (Click here if you want to read it) titled “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” and, like many people online, I had a strong reaction, though maybe not for the same reasons.

When the article first started circulating, social media seemed to take the title at face value. People mocked it, saying things like “Vogue is anti-love now?” or “Imagine thinking relationships are cringe.” But if you actually read what Chanté wrote, that’s not really what she was saying. The piece explored how, in today’s digital world, being in a relationship, especially a visible, “traditional” one, can feel complicated. It’s not about being ashamed of love; it’s about how love looks online.

There’s this whole cultural mood around self-sufficiency and individuality, especially for women. The “main character energy” era tells us to prioritize independence, to focus on our goals, our style, our self-growth. And I’m totally here for that. But it also means that sometimes, posting your boyfriend can feel like a betrayal of that image, like suddenly you’ve gone from being mysterious and self-possessed to being defined by someone else.

I’ve been in a relationship for a year, and if you looked at my Instagram, you’d barely know it. I’ve posted him maybe once or twice, and never in an obvious way. Not because I’m hiding him, or because I’m embarrassed. It’s just that our relationship feels more private than performative. I share my photod, my friends, the parts of my life that I curate. My relationship isn’t curated; it’s real, messy, and personal.

What I think Chanté was trying to say, and what got lost in the noise, is that modern relationships exist in this weird tension between authenticity and aesthetics. We’re constantly performing versions of ourselves online, and sometimes, love doesn’t fit neatly into that performance.

So no, having a boyfriend isn’t embarrassing. What’s embarrassing is pretending that love makes you any less independent, or that caring deeply for someone is unfashionable.

Being in love doesn’t erase who you are, it can actually make that person shine even brighter.