half a year life update

hello people. tomorrow is the last day of O levels!!!! my friends and I are gonna dye our hair after our exam tmr!! im not allowed to but who's gonna stop me haha.. I've been wanting blonde highlights for FOREVER!!!!! im lowkey scared it doesnt look good on me but ykw if u never try, u never know!  I've applied to a 100 jobs and only a few got back to me.... im so sad because I really need the money to fund my shopping addiction :( but I did sign an employment form in yishion yesterday but it pays $10/h.... I do not think that is enough but im just gonna use it as my plan B. I rlly wanna work at Victoria secret because I heard it pays better! and I just like the vibes of it. im going to Malaysia Kuching next week but im HIGHKEY dreading it bcos it looks so ass (not to sound ungrateful) like I literally cant find anything to do there besides eat.. which u can literally do that in Singapore.. and I may get braces real soon so gg to Malaysia is hindering my plans! I thought it'd be fun but it does NOT look fun AT ALL. there r no nice thrift stores or anything nice... and the acodamation is such a mess! and yet my dad always criticises whatever I do but he plans trips like THAT? im going to criticise him later, I dont care! yesterday night I was kinda down too bcos I realised how UGLY I am (ppl r gonna sugarcoat but I KNOW I AM) like especially these past few days, I've been looking the WORST! pimples breaking out, face looks dull, huge nose, obvious neck lines, obvious belly bump, eyelashes falling out, dry ass hair, fat round face!!!!!!!!!! I literally wish I could reset my face. I was such a cute baby but when I grow up, I get UGLIER and UGLIER. my parents dont even look that bad, even my brother.  if my nose was slightly smaller, I would already be 10x happier.