Guys please tell me im not crazy (a very long rant)

Do we all agree that scent is part of someone's identity? I feel like some spoiled entitled kid because of this omg

So basically, growing up, to me everyone's respective scent was identity, i had an undiagnosed lazy eye and myopia since i was in elementary school, even pre school ngl, my hearing isnt the best, so to me scent is everything, and i have zero awareness of my surroundings, like, i never bother to look around and never recognize anyone except with their scent

And when i was 11 i got my first "real" perfume (im putting quotes bc i used to have those disney perfumes bottles growing up around november), like "teen" perfume, it was 15 bucks of the grocery store and i was super grateful, even if it was cheap the scent was strong enough to stay even after i washed my stuff, to this day some of my clothes still smell like it btw, but my mom didnt really like it and it was insufferable trying to stay near her or have any type of conversation whatsoever because shed start complaining abt how hard it stank blah blah blah

Like, even if its to your taste, if my mom doesnt like a scent you wear, she WILL make you understand it, or straight up refuses to buy it (cus my mom doesnt give me pocket money, whenever she can, she buys me what i want and whenever she can, she gives me money, so she considers she wont waste money on something she doesnt even like)

So i tried to find better perfumes that still smelled good, and when i officially became a teen i saw the gucci flora perfume and i KNEW i had to try it because i felt this sensation when you know you will LOVE something, but obviously im not out of touch, a 13yo having designer perfume would be absolutely ridiculous. I got a free sample and i literally fell in love with that perfume!

And i found the Plein Soleil by Yves rocher instead, and thats how i realized that i was really into flowery perfumes, in contrast to my mom who enjoys more like artificial scents, idk how to describe it but she has three signature perfumes; Alien by Mugler, Loverdose by idk, and Evidence by Yves Rocher, and that made me happy because i was finally starting to build an identity for myself, especially after being insecure for years and just being the second daughter of my mom

Plus it was so much cheaper, my mom has been subscribed to yves rocher since 2013 so she had 50% off discount, so that made it 35 bucks, and i literally love it, and i feel like i could built my identity on it, cus realistically speaking, if i run out of it, ill be more easily able to buy it without being financially inconsiderate to my mom

But now...

tell me why, of the soles, ONLY, TWO PERFUMES I FELL IN LOVE WITH, MY MOM DECIDED SHE WANTS THEM FOR HERSELF?!

Because obviously, if my mom wont buy me anything she doesnt like, then that was bound to happen, but since my mom already had her own scents, i never thought that would happen, i thought shed just stick to them and we finally found a middle ground...

Cus like, after years of yearning for the two perfumes, my mom bought me the yves rocher one with the discount i talked about earlier last month, but one day i came back from school and i noticed the level of the bottle significantly dropped, and she told me she put it IN HER WHOLE CLOSET AND ALL OF HER CLOTHES AND ON HERSELF CUS SHE LIKES IT HUH

So first, that irked me so bad, but since she finally bought one of the two perfumes, i wasnt gonna whine at her for her to see me as ungrateful and not buy it ever ever again, to this day i still have myopia, half of the time i forget about my glasses and my hearing isnt worsening but isnt improving either, so i still hold a big importance on scents

And wednesday me and my mom were about to go buy another bottle cus the first one was finished, and when i told her i wasnt sure if i wanted to buy it so soon cus id rather wait for all of our bills to be paid, she straight up told me that whether i wanted it or not shed still buy it cus she wanted it for herself anyway and she was just buying it "for me" to keep me happy and so i could also use it

and now shes telling me that if in december we still have money from our planned shopping trip she will buy her usual perfumes first and in january shell buy herself the gucci flora that i wanted

and when she realizes im upset, she acts all surprised as if i havent been telling her how i feel about it multiple times, like, to her, thats some silly thing because she doesnt realize that to me, perfume isnt just about smelling good, its about how much it says about someone, about their taste, their habits, sometimes even about their cultural background and it has a big importance to me, and each person has their own scent, even if multiple people wear the same perfume, theres gonna be a difference, through things as stupid as how they dry their clothes, do they use a dryer? do they hang them indoors? outdoors? what is their favorite kind of laundry soap, scented softener or laundry scented beads...

and while some people might not care, i do, but like, a LOT..! like, to me, except if you smell like decomposed vegetables or dog shit, ill never tell you that you stink, ill just try to figure out how you smell like and why and most of the time, my guesses are right 

And i genuinely feel upset cus theres no escape route, my mom doesnt care about how i see things and i canr dictate to my mom how she will make use of about a 150 bucks, whether shes gonna spend it on me, or on herself, and what to buy with it, vus if she has 150 bucks, she has enough for t=her usual perfumes but she also has money for the perfume i love

and i feel like if my mom uses the perfumes i want, i physically wont be able to use it once i can afford it on my own because this will genuinely ick me and feel foreign to me, like i wont ever be able to identify to it as much as i initially did, and im genuinely scared cus what if i never ever love another perfume the way i loves those perfumes? what if they just stay my favorites my whole life but my mom is already wearing them? this is genuinely worrying me and upsetting me but i feel like im just making a fuss over a perfume, like... that sounds dumb af