𝓦𝓮𝓲𝓻𝓭 𝓓𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶𝓼 n' 𝓡𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓼

  Okay so why can't I just stop thinking atp I h8 having these thoughts sm its exhaustinggg, I know not everything I'm thinking is like real but it still scares me, i scare myself like wtf? Spending numerous nights absolutely terrified bc i somehow convinced myself someones watching me and since I have a really creative imagination, I ended up convincing myself that what im visualising is a warning !?!? And not to mention the dirty thoughts I keep having, I genuinely wish I could delete my whole memory and everything i learned/seen so far..

  I put myself in numerous concerning/dangerous situations on the internet as a kid and for what? Now everything's ruined COMPLETELY. And my irl friends ohhh how I wish I could just snap at them or something. They all make dirty jokes and its starting to eat me alive because i litr cannot find the courage to tell them to stop which is mad stupid!!

  It's SO horrid that my dreams are full of scenarios where I'm willingly SA'D?????!!!!! And I wake up feeling like a mess and disgusted by myself because how could I possibly dream of THAT?? And not to like self diagnose or whatever, but ik for a fact what I'm experiencing is not normal. Why aren't there any free, online therapist that can like idk, diagnose u without parental consent??? Like dude i'll figure it out later just tell me what's wrong with me (ik this sounds mad stupid)