How it started

Okay, so...

it all started when i saw a tiktok video about it and seeing someone describe how it was ro be aromantic felt oddly familiar to me, so i decided to make a little bit more of a research on the aromantic community and i felt drawn to it, and now i think i might be aromantic.

Childhood crushes

There was none.

Just kidding, guys, i "liked" two boys and a girl between 5 years, but i feel like none of them were real, besides them, there were people that i felt attracted to because they were good looking, but that doesn't count. Going back to the crushes, lets start on third grade her name was Luana, but i dont think i actually liked her, i feel like i just liked how she treated me, Luana was my friend and used to treat very kindly, maybe that's why i thought i liked her. Moving to next person, on fourth grade there was this boy called Andre, but i know i didn't like him, i just thought he was funny, because he wasn't even handsome, and that applies to the boy i liked on fifth grade Bruno, he was just funny, because that boy was ugly as hell. 

 So, basically, i never actually liked someone romantically, maybe felt attracted to them, but never experienced the romantic feeling that everyone talks about

Middle school

i am currently in nine grade, and i don't know how it works on the USA or other countries but here in Brazil middle school is from the sixth grade to the nineth grade, the you have the first, second and third year of high school. Anyways, im in nine grade and since got in middle school i never had a crush on someone, i only thought some people were pretty but that's it, and had a time last year that was talking to this boy that was really my type phisically but i couldn't feel any romantic feelings for him, and all my friends have experienced that, next year im going to hs, i never had a boyfrien, never even kissed actually, and i just feel like tht probably will never happen.

All my friends have a romantic interest on someone

I only have two friends, Mary and Matthew, and they both are talking to someone, so i don't feel comfortable talking to them about this with them because i don't wanna make them feel guilty for feeling romantic feelings or something like that and the two of them complain to me like "oh, she's ghosting me again!" or "i'm so in love wit her, i wanna date her" and like, i'm happy for them but it makes feel kinda bad because i might never feel that way about anyone, oh, and worse of it all, when they say things like "you know when you feel like you have butterflies on your stomach?" no i dont, because they all died with the stomach acid! I never felt that, i don't know how that feels, i was talking to Matthew about how i never liked anyone and he said something that really got into me "you won't know if you love someone because you never actually felt that in a romantic way" and he's right i won't be able to identify that i romantically love someone easily because i never felt that, but i'm not sure if am aromantic or if just didn't find the right person yet

Thanks for reading all of this and sorry for any mistakes on my writing

feel free to tell me what you think

byee