life lately TW

ive been feeling so shitty. timw flies but i dont do shit. my favourite people turn out to be groomers. i just broke my favourite perfume. i want cigarettes. i want to stop folkdancing and start drama. nothing feels like home, i dont feel like myself. i want to live like its the 2000s and i want cooler clozhes and a cooler room and cooler hair and cooler makeup. i want to be happy. evem if that means taking shitloads of drugs. i want to be happy, even if im messy. i wanna relapse. GRRRRRRRRRRR i hate myself