19:00 ʚdigital diaryɞ

now i’m feeling even worse. well, now my f/p is sleeping on call with me, and we’ve talked on the call for the first time since this friday, so sure thing it cheers me up a bit, but we argued before. and to be honest this hurts. i am fully aware that im never enough, but when i have to face it this way, when i have to listen to all of that.. thats just so sad to be honest. 

fortunately, im still alone at home. but i don’t have any energy left to do something. but i have to and i feel guilty for an obvious reason. and still i don’t do anything. i waste all the energy thats left on overthinking. i feel so desperate, because even with all the therapy there are no advices proposed. i just keep living like that. i don’t want it to continue like that