about my love life rn cuz sum of u asked

I don't like anyone at the moment i havent liked anyone but 1 guy for a while now i guess its been 5 years of me wanting him but sadly hes a cheater and ik he won't change he only dated me to have that sense of power or control over me let's call him 'strawberry guy' alr... I dont know what i was thinking when i gave him a third chance and i saw it all coming. I won't talk shit about him tho because we both chose to be with eachother back then and i was pretty much in love with a diffrent version of him (that was NOT real) well not how i imangined him to be. maybe ill talk about it when i'm back home?